I miss them

I miss my characters. I finished a story for the Goodreads MM Romance group Love’s Landscape a week ago. I’m waiting to hear from an editor who’ll have the brilliant job of reading my crap. Poor, poor volunteer editor.

That said, I miss the characters. I think about them when I’m driving, when I’m reading, in my shower, or now, in front of my computer.

I want to write more about them. Ideas keep popping up in my mind. They have more to say, more to experience, more to share.

I think I’ll continue it, just for fun.

Tom, Dylan, I’m coming! Hold on!

I did it!

Not well, a bit awkward, but I did it. I wrote 32,000 words for a story! Yay! It’ll be published someday by the Goodreads group. Phew. 

I’m so proud I could burst. Not about the work, because I frankly don’t think it’s very good – it may be readable but it could be so much better. I’m proud because I finished it.

I had been taking 10 measly little milligrams of Ritalin a day and the story was just not coming out. It was in my head, but it was sluggish and I couldn’t find the ending. May 1st came around and the story had a beginning but no end, no meat, no structure, nothing but a bunch of incoherent thoughts I couldn’t reach even if I felt they were there all along. I got an extension to May 15th and I started taking 20 mg of Biphentin (same molecule as Ritalin but slow released). 

Miraculously, the story just wrote itself. The ending is a bit rushed because I had to finish it quickly and I even asked for an extra day. 

At least I finished it.

ADHD is fucking exhausting. 

It’s not easy.. but then what is?

Raising children isn’t easy. Cooking an edible turkey isn’t easy. Picking the fastest check-out lane in the supermarket is never easy. Sometimes getting up in the morning isn’t easy.

But writing? Shit. It’s fucking hard.

Try it with ADHD and meds that don’t work.

It’s like running with your head against a wall, your nose squished sideways and your feet sliding down the wall every time you try to take a step…

Torture.